Last summer, my brother introduced me to the genius that is 1 vs. 100 on Xbox Live. It revolutionized the way I waste my evenings and inspired new excuses for me not to leave my house. There are two things I love most in life: trivia and being better than other people at things that will never really help me excel in life. This game tied both these passions of mine together beautifully. Unfortunately, I made the biggest mistake of my life and went off to college and had to go almost four months without playing. If only I’d known that winter break would be the last time I’d ever see 1 vs. 100 appear on my Xbox dashboard, I would never ever have left my house during those 6 weeks.
For awhile, there were updates on facebook, twitter, and the Xbox live website from the writers asking for suggestions for season 3, talking about highlights from season 2, and generally keeping the love alive until the launch date for season 3 was settled. Well, updates have ceased since April. The worst part? They’re keeping all of us fucking dangling because they won’t just come out and say if it’s been cancelled or not. 1 vs. 100 is now in this awful limbo where we’re not sure if season 3 is still in the works, or if all the writers all drank the kool-aid and called it quits, or maybe Microsoft just dicked us over and cut the game completely.
The last Twitter “update” was this. “Sorry, nothing to share about future plans just yet.” I mean, looking at it objectively now that’s better than the complete absence of any information at all; on the other hand that is still such a tease. It’s like if I was a dude and therefore had a dick, and 1 vs. 100 was a girl (presumably with a vagina) and this chick was all up on my dick and then I was like, “so what are you going to do about this,” (which is what I assume is a very strategic question that men ask in this kind of situation), and then she was like “sorry, nothing to share about future plans just yet.” I mean, COME ON THROW ME A FREAKING BONE HERE!
I am losing my mind. I stopped writing this article mid-sentence just to go do a google search for the 14th time this week, just making sure there was nothing I missed. I rephrased my search in every way possible, and I even looked through really confusing and dull forum speculation posts—come on guys, this Kinect theory is really really stupid and not at all helpful. Despite their stupidity, these forum posts revealed that I am not alone, the people have spoken and they want some answers. If answers are not provided people will just continue to pull ridiculous theories out of their asses and annoy the crap out of me. This never ends well for anyone.
Let me be clear: if I applied my 1 vs. 100 level of commitment, passion, and dedication to real life endeavors, I’d probably be largely successful. However, since that doesn’t appeal to me in any way whatsoever, I have devoted a lot of energy into becoming talented at this game, and now it’s just GONE. I don’t know about those of you out there who feel the same way, but who’s ready to rally outside of Microsoft’s headquarters? Who is ready to take a stand for the things that aren’t really important but that we care about more than our friends, family, and career? Who among you will stand with me when the future of our trivia fix is at stake? We alone have the power to change the fate of Xbox’s primetime slot.
***In a hilarious turn of events, after I posted this, I again searched for information. THIS TIME THERE WAS NEWS. It’s been cancelled. If this is the last you see of me, farewell, sweet world. It wasn’t the same without 1 vs. 100.