I’ve been following Dexter for awhile now. Not since the very start, but for about three or so years. In 6 seasons, I have had my ups and downs with the show itself as well as Debra Morgan, sister to the titular character Dexter. My ups and downs with Deb, however, are part of the reason I love her. Her character is supposed to have that effect on the audience. If you want a character to be believable, they can’t always be perfect or even likeable. So here’s to you Deb and all I’ve learned from you.
Women can curse, fuck damn it! (and still be an appealing woman…fuck yeah!)
A boyfriend once told me he didn’t find it attractive when girls cursed. Not because he had any issue with cursing itself, just that it was something for guys to do. Apparently, when girls cursed it always “sounded silly” and “they couldn’t pull it off.” It’s times like these I wish I had a time machine and could go back in time and grab my past self’s hand and march her the hell away from him. But not before spoiling the end of all future awesome movies and shows he’d like.
Deb is tough, awesome, sexy, and she swears like a sailor. For whatever reason, I do too unless I’m forcing myself not to, and I hate it when I feel guilty for it. Unlike Deb, though, I don’t have a problem censoring myself when it’s really necessary. In a recent episode, during an interview, Deb drops the f-bomb pretty casually and then regrets it afterwards. Well, actually, she’s sort of praised for her attitude, but that’s beside the point. I’m finally just okay with the fact that it’s part of who I am. It doesn’t make me less of a women despite what my ex may have led me to believe. And if a guy is going to hate on me over that, fine, we all have our turn-offs, but I don’t want to force myself to change that. Unless it’s Gerard Butler or something, then maybe I’d consider it.
Screw age gaps
Okay, so I’ll admit, Harold and Maude grossed me out, but for the most part, I’m in support of age gaps if the people involved are both happy and it’s legal/consensual. Deb’s relationship with Lundy, who was about twenty years older, kind of icked me out, but she loved him, and that’s what mattered. She didn’t let age or what other people thought get in the way of what made her happy.
It’s okay to ask for help
Deb has gone through traumatic things—she was engaged to a man who turned out to be the serial killer she was after as well as her adopted brother’s biological sibling. Lundy was murdered right in front of her, she’s lost both her parents, and the list goes on. In this season Deb finally starts going to therapy. For god’s sake, woman, it’s about damn time. Deb is finally making an effort to put herself back together after all the trauma and suffering she’s been through.
Trust your gut
In season 5, Dexter helps a woman named Lumen get revenge on a group of men who captured, raped and tortured her…and many other women. Oh, and they filmed all of it too. Well, Deb almost caught Dexter and Lumen (not knowing who the vigilantes were), but before she turns the corner to catch them, she tells them to run, that she understands. Her gut tells her that they’re in the right and that these people shouldn’t go to jail. In this season, as the new lieutenant, Deb has to trust her gut a lot and face off against Laguerta, who is really controlling and bitchy and awful.
If you need approval from someone, get it from a person who supports you
Deb’s desperate need for her father’s approval, and her jealousy over his close bond with Dexter, has been a running theme throughout the series. However, this season, Deb tells Dexter something along the lines of, “Forget dad, I’ll make you proud,” when Dexter tells her she’s going to make a great lieutenant. Despite his secret life of an American teenager as a serial killer, Dexter is actually a pretty great brother. Though Deb feels he doesn’t open up to her enough (for obvious reasons), he really does try to support her. And there was that one time he didn’t murder her despite the pressure from his fellow serial killin’ biological brother.
Instead of seeking approval from someone who is withholding, I’m going to seek approval and pride from the people who willingly give it. Oh, Deb, forget Papa Morgan and just love yourself finally, please.
Tune in next time to see what I learned from Dean Winchester.